So, I sent out some feelers to friends (one didnt know who Adam Carolla was), and got nothing at all, but decided I could probably handle this on my own. So I hit the train and headed downtown. When I got to the store, there were "brand ambassadors" (a term widely used in a previous life of mine) on Segways, handing out fliers and I got giddy. I got in and the store was massive and beautiful, I'm quite positive that a real man, who actually knew how to use tools would be incredibly impressed. Inside, there were stations upon stations of tools and mowers and steel plated steel. A true man's man type store. However, the marketing team behind this event decided to go a different direction with food and service. When I entered, I had to sign in using one of them upscale iPads and I was given two tickets, which I assumed were for the comedy show.
I saw the stage right in front of me and to each side a bar for food and alcohol, I didnt want to spend money (or be embarrassed if I assumed the drinks were free and they werent). But, around me caterers dressed up like they were at a formal were serving things like Sushi and some sort of cheese crumble wrapped in cardboard. (It legitimately looked like a cupcake wrapper, but you had to eat it). In preparation for the night, I had thrown on one of my plaid long sleeve shirts, rolled up, with a pair of blue jeans with a rip in the knee, and I made sure not to wear my heart skull shoes. I was bound to fit in!
Wrong. In addition to the servers, at least 60% of the crowd was dressed in suits (Craftsman corporate) and I realized this was really for them, not us rough and tumble folk. I proceeded to wait near the stage for the standup to begin and it started within 5 minutes. Let me begin by saying getting to see a B/C list celebrity in a room with less than 100 people is pretty cool and surreal. I saw those huge eyebrows miles before he even hit the stage and I got excited.
His act was short and pretty funny (this was only my second comedy show ever) and it was laced with tons of product placement, but who cares, Craftsman got they wanted (people out to the store and talking about the event, like in this blog, so technically I'm schilling too.) After his set, I decided to look around and try out some of the tools. Below is my night in pictures.
This is the sanding station. I legit dont know how to use one, so I took a picture of someone else doing it. I tried it after and almost cut my hand off.
Such presence.
The old corporate lady spokesperson. She wasn't sure what twitter was.
Lawn mower, mowing artificial turf, naturally.
A look at the fancy TVs and rigging around the store.
SO CLOSE! I could almost literally touch him.
I didn't realize that the tickets I was given as I entered were drink tickets until it was almost time to leave. I chugged this. Does this count as drinking alone?
Some sort of Jack challenge, my arm muscles atrophied at the site of this challenge.
Ugly electric cars that apparently someone at Craftsman drives to work.
Grout cutter! I tried this too, and got mostly tile.
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