Thursday, November 29, 2007

I am Livid

LIVID, I say. Today, I am livid about two things. Be impressed.

First, I have recently discovered the new facebook beacon application. THESE
are the basics of it. And I'll break it down even more. Facebook now has the ability to track your movements on its partners websites. For example I am a part of blockbuster.com, so when i update my movie rental list, facebook will now post a news post in our mini feed about what movies I have updated.

Two things make this even worse - 1) You as a user do not have the ability to OPT-IN to this feature, its automatic and you can't stop it unless you have a keen eye for a little bubble that pops up for two seconds. 2) These sites are sending your information to facebook even if you aren't a facebook member.

Originally I wasn't scared, because I figured you would have to link your facebook account with an external site. I was wrong. IF you visit sites while you are logged into facebook (facebook mysteriously just added that always be logged in feature) it will automatically be able to connect your two accounts.
Invasion of Privacy Never Felt So Good!

Remember when facebook added that mini-feed and everyone was like "oh my privacy." Well that was like getting peeped while you are in the changing room at JC Penney's this is like getting raped in Folsom State Prison while the guards watch and you are crying endlessly because you just want to be held. Why can't FACEBOOK HOLD YOU AFTER THEY RAPE YOU?

Some of the sites that are on right now are:



Ebay.com (Bidding on a small size condoms? Now everyone on facebook can know!)
Allposters.com (Just bought a Johnny Depp poster from Edward Scissorhands? I ALREADY KNEW THAT, KATE)
Fandango.com (Bought only one movie ticket for Bee Movie when you are a 22 year old male?)
Blockbuster.com (Rented HD porn?)

and more:

Additional websites and companies participating in Beacon at launch include AllPosters.com, Blockbuster, Bluefly.com, CBS Interactive (CBSSports.com & Dotspotter), ExpoTV, Gamefly, Hotwire, Joost, Kiva, Kongregate, LiveJournal, Live Nation, Mercantila, National Basketball Association, NYTimes.com, Overstock.com, (RED), Redlight, SeamlessWeb, Sony Online Entertainment LLC, Sony Pictures, STA Travel, The Knot, TripAdvisor, Travel Ticker, TypePad, viagogo, Vox, Yelp, WeddingChannel.com and Zappos.com.

Finally, facebook is doing this to make money. It's a revolutionary way to collect information about users. Now facebook can tell its advertisers our users watch THIS movie the most, you should market to them.

MOVING ON.

I am also quite livid while listening to the G105 morning show Bob & The Showgram. Now this is your typical top-40 station (they play a timbaland song once every 10 minutes, or else Timbaland kills them), so I listen because in the morning its entertaining and a morning show host is essentially the best job ever.

So a top-40 station should have its finger on the pulse of pop-culture, including MUSIC. Right? RIGHT?

Today they introduced two topics that made me want to stab this morning show with a collective shiv (made from a bar of soap from my stay in prison). First they introduced the phenomenon that is 2 Girls 1 Cup, which made its debut on PerezHilton.com nearly 3 weeks ago ( and probably somewhere else before that). Now this video is disgusting (if you're not into to drinking your own feces) and has sparked an internet craze of people videotaping their reaction.
What makes this worse than a radio station not having its finger on the pulse is that they spent 15 minutes watching the clip and then clips of the reactions on their show this morning. Their radio show, which is just audio....Forgive me for not being entertained by Bob the racist nearly vomitting for 15 minutes.


Radiohead who? Are they new around here?

After they took their 30th commercial break of the hour ( i forget to mention there were 8 breaks during the near vomitting sketch, they did their "Top 5 Songs You Should Download." First, I was very excited to learn that each of the 5 were not Daughtry songs (weren't Creed and Pearl Jam enough to last America for a century?) So they start going through the songs and at the end the main host ( a 50 something white male, clearly in touch with this music) says "Wow I've heard artists have started giving away music for free. Have you guys heard about this?"

They proceed to talk about how Prince did it (nearly 6 motnhs ago) and then one of the younger co-hosts (WHO IS A DJ AND NEEDS TO KNOW MUSIC) goes "Oh, I think some rock band or something just gave their album away online and let people pay whatever." ....

....


....


I'm sorry douchebag, are fucking kidding me? You can't remember Radiohead? Arguably the biggest band in the world that is still making music today? You can't remember when this only happened a month ago? What's that? You were too busy trying to give Daughty's roadie an HJ just to get a change to touch him? Ok understandable, Daughtry is quite the looker, but to not know the biggest rock band in the world when they JUST pulled of a publicity stunt that is going to change the face of music, when you work in THE MUSIC INDUSTRY, is not ok.

Friday, November 23, 2007

I Love Airports, I Hate Flying

Recently, I've been flying more than (Al Qaeda operative in a Florida training center (Too soon?) and I've come to notice one thing. I absolutely love airports but detest flying, mostly because I fear for my own safety.

I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE.

Example 1: On the way from Raleigh Durham to New York, I boarded a 6 AM flight and as we were filing into the plane which was about 2 feet too small for ole Kelson and as I sit down in my aisle AND window seat I see two middle eastern men. Now lets be fair, NO ONE gets on an airplane anymore and isn't slightly profiling the other passengers. So that's that. At that point I'm still calm, until we take off in this plane that holds approximately 8 passengers, or roughly the same amount as Aaliyah's plane! So we are in the air, the brisk North Carolina landscape whizzing by, from above I see pig races and klan meetings, so I quietly return to my book. 5 minutes later the "electronics are ok" ding goes off and the stewardess, who could possibly pass for Grace from Grace Under Fire and in the middle of her explanation BAM - Middle Eastern man #2 stands up and starts moving around this multi-million dollar coffin.

She immediately yells at him to sit down and at that point I close my eyes and hope to sleep, so that when I die the last thing I remember is Brett Butler giving a stern lecture, rather than a mass of fire and metal coming at me. The rest of the flight goes off without incident, unless you count sawing off your own legs to get more comfortable. But in the end, I sewed my legs back on and walked out unscathed.

Now, was I ok? Possibly, but I'm still scarred for life. It was bad enough that ANYONE was standing up - what is the reason for standing up 2 minutes into the flight? Couple that with the resurgence of a good ole Jihad and I shit my pants. No Joke.

Anyway, I do love airports - to make my 6 AM flight I woke up at 3 AM and was at the airport and through security by 4:15 AM. Premature? yes, but aren't I always? In that 2 hours I was able to bask in a fully crowded and bustling airport (the A&W hot dog stand his huge at 5 AM) without interacting with a single person. Headphones on and blaring I was able to fully enjoy a completely public place without any of that public interaction I hear so much about.

High Tech? Yes, please.

So you don't have the same irrational fear of public settings and elevators I do? Well the airport can still be cool. Just go to one - LOOK how cool it is. Everything is so high tech. Especially in real cities like New York, with their moving sidewalks and video game centers. NBA JAM while I Wait? FAAAAAAAAAntastic. I get a very good sensation gliding down and 1.5 times the pace of non-moving sidewalk walkers, an arrogance that I will not soon forget.

Can I live in an airport? Or just travel between airports for the rest of my life...without the traveling..

As always - I will leave you with some lyrics that mean a lot to me. This week - FERGIE - "Clumsy"


Fergie wetting herself.........Now


Can't help it
The girl can't help it
The girl can't help it
The girl can't help it

First time
That I saw your eyes
Boy you looked right through me, mmmhmm
Play it cool
But I knew you knew
That cupid hit me, mmm mmm

You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
So in love with you

Can't help it
The girl can't help it
The girl can't help it
The girl can't help it

Can't breath
When you touch my sleeve,
Butterflies so crazy, mmm mmm
Whoa now, think I'm goin down
Friends don't know whats with me, mmm mmm

You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
So in love with you

Can't help it
The girl can't help it
The girl can't help it
The girl can't help it

You know, this isn't the first time this has happened to me
This love sick thing
I like serious relationships and a
A girl like me dont stay single for long
Cuz everytime a boyfriend and I break up
My world is crushed and I'm all alone
The love bug crawls right back up and bites me and I'm back

Can't help it
The girl can't help it
The girl can't help it
The girl can't help it

You got me trippin, stumbling, flippin, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
You got me slippin, tumbling, sinking, fumbling
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love
So in love with you

So in love with you
So in love with you

Things that make me go ummm? this week:

- There are not one but TWO Christmas Movies aimed at African Americans this year. Two too many?
- Went to Best Buy for Black Friday - waited in line outside for AN HOUR at 5 AM, infuriated, I realized I am a moron and secretly wished Best Buy would knife itself. That is until I went to Circuit City, where they didn't make ANYONE wait outside. How nice I thought, until I walked in-store and saw the check-out line was wrapped around the entire perimeter of the store. Hey Circuit City, ummm do you maybe want to have more than 3 registers open on the biggest shopping day of the year? K. Thanks.
- I may or may not be addicted to America's Next Top Model on Vh1, NOT CW. I love these marathons.

Currently Listening to : Say Anything - In Defense of the Genre