This summer, I moved into a 3 month sublet in a UNC-Greensboro apartment. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to sign a long lease and would be soon moving to Chicago, so I took what I could get. Roommate 10 seemed nice at first and the girl who I was subletting from was super attractive (enough so that I probably would've dabbled in heroine for her.)
Roommate 10 was also cool enough to allow a 24 year old guy to live with her (as a 19 year old) and she knew I was in a band, and was cool with other bands full of 20 something guys who hadnt showered in weeks to stay on our floor. I thought this might be ok. (Helpful Hint: I was able to live in college housing by showing the apartment complex an application for grad school. So if you ever want to live with teenagers again, all you have to do is pretend to apply to graduate schools!)
The day I moved in, I noticed a strong hint of smoke coming from 10's room. I assumed it to be the marijuana that kids are all raving about these days, and I quickly shut all the vents in my room so that I wouldn't get contact high (it was travelling by way of the air conditioning). Days later I would find out that it wasn't just weed seeping through the vents, it was cigarettes. 10 was smoking cigarettes in her room, apparently she thought her room was Coyote Ugly.
Other fun facts I soon found out about my roommate:
She had everything pierced (EVERYthing)including her sternum. (Fun follow up on this: she didn't even want the piercing, some random piercer called her one morning and asked her to get it and she said yes. They sink the stud under neath the bone and apparently it requires surgery to remove. I feel like maybe that's not a spontaneous decision to make, but I'm prude like that.)
She was a lesbian.
She had a raspy voice, like that of a 74 year old jewish woman who had chain smoked cigarettes non stop for the last 74 years .
She had an alarm set for 2:15 PM. everyday.
She allegedly loved all other drugs other than heroine and meth. She wasn't hardcore enough for those.
She would routinely lose her key and then ask me to leave the door unlocked because She couldnt find her keys for days at a time.
She would do laundry and then use the dryer as her closet, only take out which article of clothing she wanted to wear that day.
Her bathroom broke in the first week that I was there, she asked if she could use mine that night, and said she would get hers fixed tomorrow. Tomorrow never came and she (and all of her friends) used my bathroom for the next 3 months.
She (and all of her friends) would routinely use all of my toilet paper and never replace it.
In the 3 months I lived there, she never once bought any cleaning supplies (paper towels, soap, toilet paper).
She really really loved True Blood. (So much that she had a poster collage of pictures cut out from magazines and glued to poster board. No, she was not in 8th grade).
I once had to go into the dungeon that was her room to turn off her alarm when she was out of town and I felt like vomitting. She ashed her cigarettes on tables or the carpet, her windows were blacked out and the stench of stale nicotine was intoxicating.
She rarely bought food for herself, but there seemed to be at least 4 separate bags of mozzarella cheese in our fridge at all times.
She would often eat just peanut butter sandwiches and had a sandwich making station in the kitchen to prove it. (The station included a jar of peanut butter, bread, a plate, and the same knife, for easy access).
I had about 15 drinking glasses when I moved in, when I went to pack my stuff up, I had 3.
Above everything else, my roommate was disgusting in the kitchen. In 3 months she probably cleaned 3 times. (Once when her parents were coming, because they still believed her to be a nice, clean, straight young lady). For weeks plates and dishes would stack up in the sink. Food would cake on the oven surface, wrappers would be left on the floor (she would get so high and decided to make cookies at 2 AM, then leave gobs of cookie dough in the middle of the floor. (The cookie dough resided there for 3 days, before she apologized and said she forgot to clean).
Towards the latter part of my stay, I would have friends come over and tell me that my kitchen might be the most disgusting thing they have ever seen and didn't understand how I lived there. I paid my roommate back a bit, by leaving all my food for her to deal with!
So for all the reasons listed above, that is why 10 is the worst roommate ever. Kitchen pictures coming tomorrow.
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