The Time I Got Some Luggage

Before I even started my massive road trip my long time "suitcase" broke. The suitcase was finely made AthletiTEK, a genuine plastic duffel bag. The zipper came right off and would not go back on and thus the bag had to be put down (I briefly considered using duct tape to seal it off, but decided that airport security might tase me before I even got through the line.)

So I set off to purchase some new luggage, my mother gave me a coupon to Kohl's, but first suggested that we just ship all of my clothes to Chicago because it would be cheaper than buying luggage. I laughed at this, overzealous about my new found coupons and I was sure I could find some luggage for $40.

Apparently in the luggage world, $40 gets you a glorified plastic bag. In fact, the cheapest luggage the store had was $169, and couldn't even fit a small infant inside. After a solid 20 minutes of searching, I decided that TJ Maxx/Marshalls type stores were the way to go. Perhaps, I could get me some luggage that was so ugly real stores couldnt sell it.

Enter, Jessica Simpson.

Apparently Ms. Simpson has forgone any sort of music career to concentrate on the posh world of luggage making. I have to say, she makes some solid luggage with all sorts of compartments. The bag was the cheapest ($50), it was HUGE, and it had separate bags in bags for laundry (the one with the bikini on it) and shoes (the one with the shoes). Hidden compartments galore! (I assume Jessica added this to hide candy from her overbearing father).

The bag seems like the perfect fit for romance novel level needy women. I instantly thought "Red Shoe Diaries." And I had to have it. I'm so proud of it being a Jessica Simpson brand bag, I may not even take off the tags. I might get dressed up to go to the airport, like they did in the 60's, so that I catch people's eye, and then they bear witness to the greatness that is my bag.

Thank you Jessica, for meeting all of my travel needs.