The Time I Had A Quarterlife Crisis.

Currently, I am in the midst of what may or may not be a quarter life crisis. Today marks my 25th birthday (I count this as quarter life because I assume I will live to 100 with medical advancements, though I still don't have health care so the point is moot.) My 25th birthday started with promise, I was in the midst of friends
some urging me to drink Irish Car Bombs and there was an attractive single girl to be wooed. This was certainly better than the last 24, there were people here to verbally and physically wish me a happy birthday. Hugs, high fives, handshakes, it was all so glorious! But as I type this I'm sitting on my parents front porch locked out of my own car.

Let's rehash why this quarter life crisis is happening:

1) I had my first alcoholic beverage two days ago. After 10 years of being "straight edge" I decided that with moving to a new city, I should try to switch things up. I certainly wasn't happy with the social aspect of my previous life, so why not try something that I was only intentionally NOT doing out of sheer stubbornness. No one but me cares that I was straight edge. (Although I'm sure some punk kid somewhere would slice my throat if he read this.)

2) I am moving halfway across the country to a city I've visited for a combined total of 67 hours. If that isnt a sign of quarter life crisis, I don't know what is. Yes, I'm very excited for the move and to live in an actual city with people who dont religiously watch a car circle around a track for 5 hours, but let's just keep playing this game.

3) I am currently living at my parents house (only for 4 days, but still, as a 25 year old I'm currently sleeping in a room that has baseball wallpaper and teddy bears on the bed. Yikes.)

4) I have been single for more than a year now and at the tender age of 25, with seemingly all of my facebook friends engaged or married, I have basically concluded that I will die a lonely cat lady.


I turned down the Irish Car Bomb (wisely) and headed back home but stopped by 7-11 for a Mountain Dew Voltage. I decided "heck it's 1 am on your birthday, get a lottery ticket. So I asked for a $1 scratch off. The clerk gave me a wedding bell scratch off
and as I sat alone in my car in the completely deserted 7-11 parking lot at 1 AM on my birthday, I used a quarter to claw at faux wedding bells with as much anger (or sadness) than anyone who had preceeded me in scratching. I lost (of course) and returned to my parents house, where I promptly locked my keys in my car and waited outside for AAA to come unlock me.

The good news is that it's now 2 AM and I'm pretty sure the birthday can only go up from here.