The Time I Flashbacked #1 ("And It's Over In A Flash")

This is another new segment, where I'll be posting old old old posts I had on my old blog and leaving foot notes in red. Some of these are 5 years old, so forgive me, I have not edited these at all except for some spelling mistakes. Let's begin.

"And It's Over in a Flash"

So lets see where i was when i left out i believe there was some hilarity in the inability for the color guard to hold onto their flags/sabres (this was a reference to a blog I posted regarding the Elon's colorguard being just a tad overweight). Lets take a look back and see what happened in kelson's life this week:

Monday-Thursday....nothing really me and kristen went to hillsborough NC because im a tool and decided i would super duper cool and go there because i live in hillsborough NJ (Apparently punctuation wasn't cool in 2003.) I had been there before but this time we drove the whole entire town...that took about 3 minutes and we decided to go to wendy's and every single employee was eating in the front ...and then a lady with 4 teeth or less decided she would try to take our order but ended up scaring the shit out of me because i dont think she realized halloween was over (I don't recall this joke or this lady, but both are atrocious attempts at comedy). so we ate but not before a little gang tussle. on one side we had the yokels who worked at wendys with less then 12 teeth combined and a presumably smaller IQ and then apparently the other side of "the boro" who didnt seem to be crips or bloods rather...hawaiian? gang members...we quickly ran i think i narrowly escaped a bullet wound (This is true. I was much smaller then and able to dodge bullets.)

oh yea and on tuesday me and kristen drove all over the state of north carolina lookin for the steel train cd and surprisingly we didnt find it (this was back before the days of emo being on MTV. Nowadays, I'm pretty sure I could buy Steel Train at both Walmart and the BP down the street). When i say surprisingly i mean im not surprised at all. Apparently there wasnt enough room for it on the shelf because the new steely dan cd needed about 4 racks full. ...asses. So that was also fun a few days later we drove to exit 152 to take a picture of the sign since its on the taking back sunday cd...i had heard it was on this road in NC because the singer used to live there so again i brought out my toolness and drove like a giddy school girl with lauren and kristen to it...however it was the wrong sign , by the wrong sign i mean i was completely on the wrong road, by wrong road i mean im probably in the wrong state because north carolina=suck (still true, to this day, I have no idea where that sign is located, but I get heart palpations everytime I think of it). This was a bad bad omen for the weekend. we proceeded to hot topic to make kristen into a punk rAWK princess and then came home (This post screams of my 18 year old emo kid and I gotta say, I'm slightly embarrased). The next day we were going to see coheed and thrice and thursday and so on the ticket it said show at 8..which in normal show speak means doors open at 8 but nooooooo in north carolina they have to be "on time" so we left at 615 ish and got there at 830 cause of traffic and of course i missed coheed and proceeded to follow justin timberlake's instructions and cry him a river (Not the last time I took his advice, as the year 2007 was all about me bringing sexy back.) then we watch thrice(blow) they didnt even play the single...sluts...and then thursday which was fun because they played an awesome set and i was in the pit but there were kids that came bearing leather gloves to mosh with ...these kids were also 10..so i put them in there place with a pistol whip to the back of the head. (In the coming years these 10 year olds would go on to form gangs (each with their own colored bandana) and would gang/fake fight at shows. A pistol whipping just 2 years later would probably result in an emo skull fuck from the "Pink Bandana" crew.)

We got home and i did my radio show and proceeded to cry some more over the air got home and slept woke up to leave around 830 to leave at 9 and of course didnt leave till 1030 ish...another good sign so me and kristen and lauren drove up and got lost because lauren decided to not use her words and use her fingers instead and being that she was behind me i didnt see so we got lost for an HOUR we asked two different gas stations and of course they didnt really know ...they pretended to point off somewhere and then i believe throw some numbers at us...i mean why should they know really....they only live in the town and the road was 15 minutes away...apparently the rule in rural north carolina is that you cant know any roads more than 5 miles away from the point in which you are standing (Important to note that we were going to see a concert in Philadelphia, a good 8 hour drive. Yes it was an emo concert and YES I'm even more embarrased.) so we get there just in time to see moneen play (at this point lauren has decided not to speak to me because its fun like that. so we saw the show moneen -good taking back sunday...if you are a tbs fan i will probably kill you before the sunsets tonite...all these 10 year old little girls screamed and rushed the front of the stage (This was the beginning of the end for going to concerts. The one morsel I can take from this show is that all those 10 year olds are now overweight 15 year olds that like My Chemical Romance just a ltitle too much.) ....when the BANNER dropped down..really it was obviously there first punk show and they wanted to be raped by the fat indian/mexican guitarist...so it was the most frightening moment of my life because EVERYONE was singing and FINGERPOINTED with their little devil horns...aww its so cute.. and then saves the day came out and rocked and all the little boys pretended to not like the new cd and were all like play through being cool and i thought umm werent you 4 when that came out...yea.....o and then this guy ..about 14 ...really tough.(he had an eyebrow ring) decided to push me out of the way to try to see tbs with his girl (who really had no clue what was going on) and i said yes!!! run to your taking back sunday they are god!!!!!! and he said fag...i was quite hurt so i said whens your 15 birthday party....HAHAHAH! take that . Look at me picking on children ...you cant stop me..im unstopable. (Pretty sure I was trying to say that I was better than everyone else there, and I'm certainly not one to argue with myself.)

So then STD played Hey Ya as an encore...and that rocked the hizouse (I hate that song so much. Thank god Outkast broke up.) So they were done we drove home lauren and kristen were like asleep so i put them to bed after singin them quite a lullaby on my childrens guitar that doesnt have real strings just plastic ones. then i hit the down (town) with derril...and elise.....and then me and derril played guitar till around 3 and i was gonna chill with this charlie fellow but it was late and i was almost dead. so i went to bed at 4 and woke up at 9 we got on the road and were having a grand ol time with lauren still not speaking to me then magically everything was better there was singing and games and hurrah! a trip to dairy queen where kristen risked her life by gettin pumpkin pie ice cream "freak much"...then we drove and drove and drove around 7 it happened. (This whole paragraph reads like I imagine a heroin addict's list of errands reads like. To my knowledge I was not on heroin.)

We were about 30 minutes from school and i took the wrong RT 87 so we turned right into a driveway to turn around i let the car behind me go and then a car coming the other way was about 1/4 mile down the road so i had time to go i started to back up and before i could put it in drive i was hit (I'm ashamed that the most dramatic moment of this post was summed up in one run on sentence. Just know that when your driver side gets hit, head on, from another, you barely remember anything.) Perhaps the scariest moment you could possibly imagine we figure the car was going about 80 ish (Police claim it was going 35 (or 15 MPH UNDER the speed limit, you know because teenagers often drive well below the speed limit)). ...and it was just ... i dont know. kristen was in the front and she was ok and my legs were stuck ...i thought i was paralyzed but somehow i pulled them out( no idea how, all the EMT's said we were all very very lucky...the lord was with (you) and im just like...um yea i dont really believe...however there will now be churching every week (This was true for one week, then I returned to the agnostic I was growing into thanks to Catholic high school. Yes, I'm going to hell). and we turned and lauren was out and i was so scared that i had killed her but she came to and was confused but we all went to the hospital me and lauren on stretchers and kristen came for the ride. being as scarred as we were me and lauren proceeded to crack the emt's up because well we are just plain funny people (I believe we sang songs). he cut my pants ...now im down to one pair...and lauren was screaming for her shoe..when it was on her lap...scary but nonetheless funny...and then she begged me to sing the quiet things no one ever knows (I believed right). ...yes shes insane. so we went to the hospital and its small they put her in the hall and me in a room and just left me there to get me blanket that they didnt get for 25 minutes and all i wanted was my feet covered since i had no shoes! they then came and put a blanket on my body......but not my feet. wonderful so kristen bounced back and forth and the cop came in and stuff then about 47q23q0h hours later i got my gown on...oh yea the other two didnt get one...but kelson did then i wanted some water but they wouldnt give me any till i had xrays so about an hour later they came to give me my xrays and then i asked for water again....and they still said no...the doctor came in to check me out and was like nothing broken...sprained right ankle...sprained left knee and some cuts here and there..so the nurse cleaned me up and i was discharged and i had kristen call margaret to pick me up(shes awesome) and then i got into my wheelchair(temporary) and visited lauren..who had an IV put in while i was there..where i tried to distract her by doing the vogue dance....o and it worked so then margaret came and i left and had to use crutches to walk from the car while she laughed at me...but thats alright now i cant really walk it takes about 5 minutes to walk to the bathroom which is 10 feet away and my teachers showed real compassion "bottom line : this shows you do NOT wait till the last minute to do a project" (Somehow I still got a B in that class and briefly considered maiming myself every 6 months for the sweet perks.) ...but we are all ok for now all very sore and bruised ..knees, brains...ya know the norm...so that was my weekend if you think you can beat it i dare you to. o wait you cant? thats right...sucka. (When I tell the story now, I often say "I couldn't walk for a week after the accident." It's true and it ads so much more drama, rather than saying "I sprained my knee and ankle on opposite legs. I'm starved for attention, but you knew this. That's why you are here.)

so even though we all almost died we didnt and we are stronger ...yes...stronger than yesterday (Corny much?)..now its nothing...and we decided to get tattoos to commemorate us (Didn't happen and to be honest I don't even remember the date of the accident. (We were gonna get the date tattooed)). ....not dying...plus we saw two fairly awesome shows so seriously beat that...you might be able to get the downs or the ups..but both in the same weekend...i think not. again id like to end with a song that really means something to me this time im gonna be serious...cause ive been through alot...and i dont think its quite sunk in but im so happy my best friends are alive and i love em and we probably wont fight ever agian..until me or lauren go insane. so give it a day. but this one is for them:

I don't know what you heard about me
but a bitch can't get a dollar out of me
no cadillac no perms you can't see
That I'm a motherf*@^ing P-I-M-P

(I used to end each post with a lyric of a song that was popular at the time, just because the words are insane when they don't have a beat to them. I think this is 50 Cent, maybe a certain friend who reads this and loves rap music can confirm. Seriously though, look at those words, don't you feel embarassed for people who claim 50 cent is there favorite artist?)

Love

Kelson

Im listening to : nothing...every single cd i own was in that car..o yea by the way the car is totaled. but if i was listening to a cd i would probably go with Coheed and Cambria. but if you are under the age of 16 you arent allowed to come to their shows.

PS. Im gonna pretend i dont know what im doing.

PPS. but really will know what im doing because i think im funny and cool and its fun to mock people.

(I think this was a shot at a girl who was jerking around my emotions and I'll be honest I sound just a wee bitter about it in this PS and PPS. Needless to say she is now one of my best friends.)

Epilogue:

So I tended to write a bit on the cheesy side for the accdient. I really thought it was going to be a life changing experience, but it wasn't, I was just trying to make it seem that way (sounds like 03' Emo to me!). We didn't get tattoos, we didn't go to church and to be honest we were never really friends again. Lauren took a semester off from school and Kristen transferred to a school in Florida. Last summer all 3 of us hung out again for the first time and it was kind of a bummer because of course people change and it's ridiculous to think that just because we were all in a major car crash together we would love each other forever (I believe the last time I saw Lauren she was standing on a balcony, looking simliar to white trash, which i told her(although this would later be revelaed as a costume) and smoking cigarettes at full tilt. After I screamed up something along the lines of "Hey where's your double wide?" she called me an asshole and I said I was kidding and she gave a smirk that said "Doesn't matter."

As for the car, well it was beyond dead. Luckily, I got to relive the whole event thanks to a court case in which I was being sued (remember the other car hit me). The suit began two years after the accident and just recently ended (All I know is that I didn't get money and I didn't have to pay money. Let's call it a wash).

So that was me in November of 2003, an emo child that obviously is emo-ness on his Panic at the Disco! logo emblazoned sweater vest (As opposed to an emo adult who wears his Get Up Kids t-shirt underneath his collection of long sleeved plaid shirts.) I hope you enjoyed and remember...you just got FLASHED.

(back.)