Short Stories With Tragic Endings #1

Welcome to a new segment here at Ummm...WTF? These will be short little blurbs to get your fix on a more daily basis. So in addition to 2 or 3 long posts/week you will now get almost daily short stories about one event that made me feel angry/hostile/awkward feelings that day. Try not to piss your pants.

I left work early yesterday and because of that I was able to get to the bank before it closed. As I pull into the drive-thru line, I see a large white pickup truck sitting in the ATM lane facing the opposite direction. Of course, my natural reaction was to assume that some d-bag decided that his passenger needed to use the ATM and was too crippled to walk to the walk up ATM on the outside of the building.

So I wait, for about 1 minute before inching slowly closer to the truck. Once I get closer I realize there is only one guy in the car and he is talking on his cell phone. OK...I will wait just a little longer. The man starts staring at me, probably the same exact stare I was giving him that went something like "Umm...What the fuck are you doing asshole?" So I decide to play chicken at the speed of 2 MPH and move even closer.

At this point the man gets out of his truck (still on his cell phone) and glares me down. He slowly walks towards the front of his car and looks for something. He bends down and pulls out an orange cone from under his car. He looks at me, holding the cone and then brings it to chest level (to show how very strong he actually is). He drops the cone on the ground (it was actually more of a flick, like an "I cant be bothered with your retardation, so I'm gonna take it out on this road cone, which I assume has the same IQ as you do".) He then points at it, as if to say "Did you not see this road cone? This lane is CLOSED." A little over the top if you ask me, I don't believe I have the same IQ as a road cone (as I can type and clean myself when a hobo shits on me). Not to mention that the fucking cone was UNDER his truck. Sorry for not seing the hidden cone, sir, maybe next time you can learn how to fucking drive.

As I left I screamed "Hey thanks a lot asshole," out of my open window and went to the walk up ATM in the front. It was broken too. Fuck. Me. So I went back, cut his hand off and shoved it in the top of the road cone in the shape of a outstretched palm (like the cops telling you to stop), so that people will KNOW it is closed.

Short story, tragic ending.