Ok.
Ok. Second to last post leading up until the big holiday, aka Santa's Birthday. Now my original plan was to have 24 Christmas celebrating, and other holiday degrading posts, but it turns out that I am just too too lazy for that. I still think I did well, you are getting at least...6 or 7...maybe more. Who can count when all my counting skills are currently being utilized to countdown to Christmas.
Today, another topic that is both sweet and sour. Christmas TV. Normally a joyous time of year, with a few "lumps of coal." (Get it? I made a Christmas reference. Fucktard) However, thanks to the Writers Guild of America deciding to strike (because they just don't get paid enough to have one of the 5 greatest jobs in the universe and have people LOVE their week and be obsessed about it) we didn't get all of our Christmas fill.
Sure some shows came through, and there are the old classics, but lets be real I need to see a "House" Christmas special to make the holiday magical. Instead this year, we will get House's Christmas in late January. Thanks writers, you are really winning us all over with how hard your lives are.
So we will concentrate on the classics. First we start off with the basics that were made in the first year of Santa's birth (0 A.D., look it up). These shows include Rudolph, Frosty, Frosty 2, and A Charlie Brown Christmas. These are the staples that you have to watch every year before you can even celebrate the holiday. (Unfortunately, most networks shot their wad too early and played these shows a good month before Christmas). But these shows were still classics growing up.
Not so much anymore.
I graciously let Rudolph grace my screen (only because Victoria's Secret was on next) and I turned it off almost immediately. While the story line may still be well and good, how can anyone understand watching stop animation from 1954 in an era where we have high definition? I also found it slightly ridiculous that they burst into song for about 10 seconds. If they are gonna dance lets get a little choreography maybe some solos, not Rudolph's mom doing a 10 second transition people. Has no one though to re-make this and ...I don't know make a CGI movie? You wouldn't have to change anything, do it shot for shot, maybe some more music, and its easily a $100 million movie waiting to happen. Pixar, get on this please. My eyes can't take a near epilepsy anymore.
Don't blink! He's going to move all herky jerky like in about 5 minutes. I didn't even watch Frosty this year, but its a cartoon, so I'm sure it holds up better. Arguments?
Unaccepted.
Despite the writers strike, some shows were still able to come through on time. One of my new favorites, Pushing Daisies, came out with a snow themed episode, not quite Christmas, but it got me pretty excited. 30 Rock's christmas episode will be a classic, that teaches the true meaning of Christmas to all.
30 Rock shows us the real meaning of Christmas! Commercialism. What's great about your favorite TV shows doing holiday episodes is that you get to see characters you already know and love celebrating a holiday you already know and love. Am I right?
As I typed that last sentence I realized I'm probably not.
Which is where the sour comes in.
I suppose a Christmas episode is just another plotline to write a story around (I hate you Writers Guild, I hate you so much) and in turn just becomes another holiday cliche with each episode (whether its House or Scrubs) having the same, "It's Christmas time, everyone love each other now" message to it.
I just bummed myself out, but not as much as the writer's bum me out (Yes you, Tina Fey, I'm sorry that $1 million dollar writers contract just isn't supporting your cocaine lifestyle anymore).
America's Next Top Model needs 20 writers? And Tyra, should the fat one really be writing for you? I would guesstimate she knows as much about modeling as I do about being not gay. To make up for this bummed out post, we will have a special one hour (7 page) long episode in the coming day or so. The topic, Bad Santa! (aka the greatest Christmas movie with over 133 uses of "fuck" ever).
I will wrap up the KAC on Monday, with a post about how much I love giving gifts (spoiler alert for those of you who have yet to be gifted by me).
Currently listening to: Northstar - Rigged and Ready
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