I woke up Christmas morning with all the glee of a small child who really wanted a spongebob squarepants bicycle or a life size barbie (I secretly hoped I wouldn't be disappointed, like a 6 year old mormon girl would be disappointed getting a black life size barbie.) I had really asked for one thing this year, a blu ray player. As my obsession with technology has come to pass in the last few years, I have always wanted the blu-ray, scanning the Best Buy circular weekly to see what the price was. In November, I saw a blu ray player online for $129.99 and almost broke my fingers trying to type quick enough to buy it (luckily my single digit bank account kept me in check). I also was an early adapter to the HD DVD format which is now defunct (this fact still stings), so Blu ray would be my redemption.
So Christmas morning was a big deal to me. I saw a bunch of presents in my pile and got overwhelmingly excited because since I hit college and became an "adult," Christmas just hasn't been the same as when I was a kid. My mom offered me my first gift. Blu Ray. Done and done. I didn't even need to open the rest of my presents Jesus gave me my one true gift (if this were over 2000 years ago it would be like getting Frankencense. Yeah, that awesome.)
The rest of my gifts included very adult things - a calendar, gloves, a new shower curtain (because mine had enough mildew to build it's own colony) and a vacuum, because I haven't vacuumed my apartment since Amelia moved out, which puts the dirt buildup at 6 months. I got my mom a bluetooth iPod speaker system for her new office (this would not have flown at her old office at Bloomberg, because the old office was really just a series of drones as far as the eye can see. No walls, no boundaries, I think they may have even sat on each other's laps). I got my dad his own sirius radio after that gift went over so well for my mom last year. I then helped him install it in his car while my mom made cinnamon rolls (our Christmas tradition). They were both quite pleased with the gifts (mostly because I'm an amazing gift giver) and I then took a nap before dealing with the extended family.
The extended family celebration is normally dreaded by both my father and I (or at least it was when I was in high school.) My grandmother had somewhere between 8 and 18 siblings and most all of them came to my Aunt's house for Christmas dinner. As a kid, and even to this day, I suppose, there was no one within ...15 years of me. So I often entertained myself as the family got drunker and drunker. We'd all huddle in a small living room and dining room (made smaller by the fact that the dining room table was extended from one wall to the other so that 25 people could sit) and then eat catered food, just like jesus intended.
This year was different though, there were 9 of us and only 7 I recognized. I hadn't been apart of this celebration in a few years, because we've had Christmas at the beach recently (I almost threw up in my mouth while typing that, it sounds so yuppie to say, "I summer in Nantucket and Winter in Supply, NC." I've been told Supply IS the Nantucket of the south, look it up, they even have their own grocery store!) I suppose people dropped out due to deaths (everyone in the family is over 60 except my parents and I) or marriage (my 2nd cousins 3 times removed all married later on in life) or odd trips to Qatar (I have nothing). So it was me and my parents, my aunt and uncle, my 2nd aunt and uncle and one of my aunt's sisters and her son? Maybe? I'm not sure he was pushing baldness but screamed "I'm A Jersey Shore Italian." (Two looks I hope to never see cross paths again). Everyone was nice, so the dinner went fine, but it was odd not having the whole family around.
Several key elements came out of the conversation with the family, first - they discovered that I, unlike my parents, was a liberal and that I could now be accepted into the family (my mom's side of the family is very liberal, while my dad's side probably is preparing to move to the most conservative country in the world (which at this point is probably Iraq or Turkey or somewhere where women are shot for showing the skin of their hands during evening hours)).
Secondly, I got the "Oh, when are you getting married?" thing. Which would normally be ok, but considering the fact that my MUCH younger cousin just got engaged and that I have no prospects for marriage on the horizon, well it made me think. "Oh god, I'm 23 and I'm at LEAST 3-5 years away from marriage. Oh god, I'm gonna die alone. There is no way I fill this timeline to my families liking. Shit." It's really not the best nugget (or nuggnut) to put in the head of a kid who has girl issues up the ying yang. Thanks family.
Thirdly, my mom and extremely liberal vegetarian uncle had a 15 minute conversation about 9/11, very loudly in front of the entire dinner table. They didn't talk about conspiracy theories (thankfully), my mom commented that she now worked a block from the WTC site. At this point, people were ready to open presents and I was ready to leave. Mother kept on going, despite several interruptions from family saying "Is it dessert time? Is it gift time?" Nope. It wasn't it was time to talk about the most depressing tragic event of our lifetime on Christmas Day! Essentially, we just let the terrorists win.
Finally, we opened presents, back in the day, I used to get a present from every family member, which was awesome. Then as I got older, only a few people gave me gifts and a few of them were very iffy (I got a model diecast car 2 years in a row. I hate cars. I was 13, not 8. I hate cars.) Now, I'm finally in the family grab bag, which means I give one gift and get one gift. This day and age everyone gives and gets gift cards and so, I gave a staples gift card and got a Vans gift card. We went home and I cuddled with my Blu Ray player while I slept.
Part 3 Tomorrow.
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