The evening started off splendidly, having to deliver pizzas from 6 PM - 9 PM (and of course clean up afterwards). Making my arrival in Cary at about 10:30 PM, which would be fine if, you know there wasn't a specific thing at midnight that everyone on the eastern seaboard gathers around for. When I got there everyone was partying! Dan forgoed the hoodie in lieu of a peacoat that I'm pretty sure he may have described as "brilliant" (or possibly the sale was brilliant, either way I hate the use of that word for a description that doesn't directly correlate to Asian children.)
Dan and I proceeded to be terrible guests to our host by making fun of her cooking (apparently the 2 step break and bake cookie instructions were 2 steps too many) and then hiding her purse and all of its contents around the house and blaming it on the roomba (aka, the first wave of robots to kill their home owners). Then everyone gathered around the table to play apples to apples, which is a somewhat fun game, if you know everyone playing.
In the game, one person turns a card with a subject, and then people use one word descriptive cards to try to match it and then, subjectively, the person chooses his favorite. I almost always go for the funny angle, but apparently when 4 people you are playing with don't know you, they find it offensive (however, I thought it hilarious when Dan matched his Pearl Harbor card to "cuddly" (or something like that)). We were playing and playing, until someones sister showed up and the sister's husband was a cop.
Now, this wouldn't be a bad thing for me, I wasn't even drinking, but I do like to make casual references to heroin abuse and throw in the odd "fuck tha police" into sentences. So when the cop came, the game broke up and we proceeded to turn on "Dick Clark's Rockin New Years Eve w/ Ryan Seacrest." (I was especially upset that the Apples to Apples game ended so early because I had a Helen Keller card waiting to be used for something inappropriate.)
Instead I turned my inappropriateness to Dick Clark and his stroke mouth. At first, it was fun to make fun of the old guy as he stumbled across words that he used to recite in his speech. After two minutes, my brain flipped and immediately felt terribly guilty (I'm being honest) as you could tell from the pained look in his eye that he was frustrated with himself for not being able to do this. So I give Dick Clark credit for trying and for at least giving us another year before Seacrest decides to take over NYE celebrations by taking an injection to become as big as "The Hulk" and then throwing the ball onto the waiting patrons in Times Square as he devilishly cackles "SEACREST OUT."
After the ball dropped Dan, Steve (not wearing his famous going out sweater) Ken and I all proceeded to play video games (Rock Band and Scene It!) until 4 in the morning, even though I had an hour drive home and had to be at work at 8 (yes, 8 on New Years Day. Which, if I had to pick, would be the worst day out of all 365 to go in at 8 am. Gooooooooo manual labor!) I left the house and didn't start feeling sleepy until about halfway. At this point the only way I could stay awake was to roll down all the windows and stick my head out to make sure that the 20 degree air would blow at 80 MPH on my face. (This brought back flashbacks of the time I drove from New Jersey to North Carolina starting at 1 AM after being awake all day. Really not the smartest thing I've ever done. Although a great way to get on "America's Funniest Home Videos" when you fall asleep at the wheel and drive into incoming traffic.)
I arrived home slightly before 5, ripped off all my clothes set my alarm for 7:30 and proceeded to fall asleep in about 10 seconds. When I went into work the next morning I openly seethed at anyone in the building, even those who were not at all responsible for making me work that day and the proceeded to leave at 10 am. Yes, I had to work for 2 measley hours on New Years Morning (I also found out that this is not counted as double time. In the future I hope to work on all major national holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving and not get paid accordingly for it. Way to keep the morale up!).
I went back to bed at 10:30 and set my alarm for 3 PM, so that I could still be somewhat productive and of course over slept it and woke up at 6:30. So, all in all, I would say my New Years Eve experience was a smashing success (much better than fighting off the urge to commit suicide on the "most depressing to be alone" holiday.) The start of 2009? Less of a smashing success and more of an awkward cartwheel done by a fat kid, showing off for his mom, crashing into a group of girls half his size, followed by 5 minutes of solid shrieking from the girls.
2009, you may have won the first battle (and the second battle - fast food resolution), but it is January 7th and you will NOT win the war. (My other resolution was to write more in this blog and I'm 5/7 . Go me.)
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