The weekend was going to be glorious, free food on Thanksgiving, a Bobcats-Celtics game with RJ, and loads of copius gambling strewn about. A running account of my weekend as follows:
Wednesday:
I got off work at 10 am, proceeded to come home and sleep. And sleep and sleep. I slept till 3:30, then went to my new (old) job as a pizza delivery boy (yes, it's back). Apparently the day before Thanksgiving is the biggest pizza night of the year, because no one wants to cook the day before they are going to cook a huge meal. I got to the pizza place, sat around for about an hour before the deliveries started coming in heavy. I got 5 in 30 minutes, all in opposite directions, but thanks to my new iPhone (holy shit, I need to write an iPhone post...then proclaim my love for the most amazing invention ever), I was able to find directions quickly and efficiently.
Long story short I had 14 deliveries in the next 2 hours (I normally take about 10 in 4 hours) so it was busy. Then at 8:30 it was dead. I got to go home, counted up my money - $70 - and
returned home to see if there was any late basketball games to gamble on (because $70 in cash just seems tacky, I had to spend it right away). I bet on the Miami Heat (because Dwayne Wade is awesome) and they lost by about 50 points. Good times.
Thursday:
I got up early so that I could make the 4 hour trek down to the beach house in time for the the 12:30 football game. I loaded about 85% of all the clothes, sheets and towels I own into my car at 7:30 AM and was on the road by 8:30. (In case you are wondering, it had been a cool 6 weeks since I've done laundry and 2 weeks ago, when I was desperate I figured it would be easier and cheaper to do it for free at my parents house, rather than spend all day in a dirty laundromat where there is a better than 50% chance that glass would get broken over my head from a shooting).
I got there in time for the game to start and to witness my parents go into a panic cleaning mode because my grandparents were coming. I, being the good son I am, decided to not help at all and sit on the couch and rejoice in the fact that I was winning my bet. (This brings up another point, ignoring everything going on around you, just to gamble, seems like a problem of an addict, let's see how this plays out in the future.) An hour of vacuuming dog hair later (even though the floor was probably still 25% covered) there was finally peace. Appiteasers were served, the grandparents showed up and then we proceeded to wait on dinner, which didn't come out until 7 pm. (Let's just say I was hungry at 12:30 and a 6:30 wait was tough for a borderline husky, like myself).
Note: I stopped at Bojangles at 8:30 in the morning, which was a mistake because apparently people have Bojangles cook their turkey for them. Can you ever imagine having fast food turkey for Thankgiving? Would that be the pinnacle of your family's laziness/obesity? Also, if I worked at Bojangles I'd be so pissed I had to work on Thanksgiving that I'd probably lace each turkey with some form of diuretic. Needless to say, I waited a solid 20 minutes to get my goddamn chicken biscuit. Apparently $40 is not too much to pay for a small fucking turkey with 8 lbs of seasoning on it.
Thursday concluded with me showing my grandparents how my iPhone works, them being simply amazed that I had a program that could figure out which music they liked just based on one song and then me sleeping on a couch with a pillow that apparently had a potato sack for a pillow case.
Friday
Friday I woke up a mere 6 hours after falling asleep due entirely to hearing a dog yelp for what seemed like a minute. My mother, not wanting to cause a disturbance, quickly ushered the dogs out of the house and would not return for 1 hour and 30 minutes (we would also discover she neglected to take a coat and was walking around in 40 degree weather at 5:30 in the morning). If it were me (and of course it will never be me, because I am done owning unruly pets) I would let them bark, you can only do so much to make guests feel at home before you fly off the handle and intentionally try to contract frostbite.
We then had breakfast, I asked for hash browns and bacon, but the bacon was microwaved (gross) and the hash browns had peppers and onions in them which are right up there with eating human hair on my lists of things I like to eat. I then decided it was time to leave and I collected my leftovers (which will literally last me every meal for a week), but not before my grandma tried to keep some (apparently she isn't use to the new family rule that states: Kelson shall receive all Thanksgiving leftovers because he is poor and starving and this will literally feed him for a week). So essentially, my grandma was trying to starve me so she could make a turkey sandwich later that day.
I drove back home, got back at 2 PM and went to take a nap. I didn't set an alarm, because why should I? So I slept til 10 pm. Of course I wasn't even remotely tired so I was up till 5 am, watching movies and playing video games. I fell asleep for an hour and then continued on with my laborious day of masturbation, movies and eating leftovers. I took off for Charlotte at 3 PM, met up with RJ, went out to eat at Friendly's and I got this:
That's right, I got a happy ending (with full release) at Friendly's. I feel like a family restaurant, may want to be more careful in naming their desserts. So after both RJ and I got our happy ending, we headed over to the Bobcats game.
Normally, Bobcats games are less than half of capacity. However, the recent phenomenon in the sports world is that Boston fans creep out of the woodwork whenever a Boston team comes into a city (this is completely due to the fact that the city has won 6 championships in the last 5 years.) So, essentially, you have a bunch of bandwagon fans that know the stars and like to be drunk and obnoxious, because that's the only thing they know how to do.
It was easy to spot the Boston fans (Red Sox hat - preferably green, Patriots Jersey or green shirt) and some, the REAL poseurs thought this was a fashion show, wore either P-Coats with skinny jeans and some sort of dress shoes or WORE FLANNEL. I can't tell you how many of them wore flannel to a basketball game. Apparently they got ready for this game by watching Celtic Pride (starring Damon Wayans) on repeat for a week.
They were pretty annoying, but were kept under control because Boston was losing for a significant part of the game and only won by 4 against one of the worst teams in the league, nothing to be proud of.
On the way home, I decided to stop at Wal Mart because I had seen that both Madden and NBA Live 09 were on sale for $30 instead of of $60. I went in (at 11 pm, to enhance my geekiness) and saw $30 "Select games on sale" signs next to Madden and Live and went to purchase them. The total rang up as $117. I noted that I think they were $30, even though there was no clear sign that said Madden = $30, it was just sort of in the vicinity. But the lady was tired, saw the sign and gave it to me for $30, I later saw the circular and said Madden 09 - $30 FRIDAY 5 AM - 11 AM ONLY. But when you don't take down your signs, you get hosed. BOOM.
I came home went to bed.
Sunday
Today is Sunday, I am catching up on chores (I still haven't put my 8 loads of laundry away) and gambling my brains out.
It's been a good weekend (Italian Immigrant good).
1 comment:
That's a spicy meataball.
Post a Comment