We're You Aware of It?

On a recent pizza delivery I was rewarded with the ultimate prize for us lowly pizza boys, the double digit tip. The double digit tip in door-to-door orders is a rare (rare) phenomenon. People have wised up and no longer seem to tip percentage, so even if I was to deliver 300 pizzas barefoot as Egyptians kings whipped me into building a pyramid(the cost for this would be somewhere between $3000 and $3 Billion), the tip will still only be about $2.

So it was on a day about 2 weeks ago where I witnessed my first and (lets be real) last double digit tip of my life time (unless I fulfill my marvelous dream of becoming a waiter to the stars at NoBu and explaining that our Tuna is so expensive because it's on the endangered species list! Oh Bobby D, you slay me). I got the call to the neighborhood (which is really more of a farm/trailer parkway, rather than a traditional neighborhood). I had a hard time finding the place and as it turns out, the house wasn't even visible from the Trailer Trash Heaven Parkway. It turns out the driveway is about 1/2 mile long and winds through a forest and then out of nowhere, opens up into a circular driveway with a big landscaped bush in the middle of it. On the sides of the mansion were some horses and barns and what can only be described as red bamboo (made with real Chinese Blood!).

As I approached the door I thought I heard Mr. Ed talking to me and everything made sense (royalties), and then I knocked on the door. A man answered in Snakeskin boots and a cowboy hat and told me to come in (normally not a good idea, but hey, he was rich and there's a .01% chance that he ends up like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, I'm willing to take that risk to appease the rich folk who might present me with a ten spot. And yes, I only like to appease the rich when it will directly result with cash in my hand within 30 seconds of that appeasement. So no republican jokes please). So I entered the house and he calls for his wife and she brings over the cash. The total was 15 and he gave me $25. I asked if he needed change and he said no and then winked. I buckled like Janene Garafelo at a Nirvana Tribute Band concert (that happens to be all female and call themselves In Uterus) and gleefully walked out the door.

What makes it better is that this wasn't a "keep the change" tip, he purposefully gave me that extra $5 (a little arrogant, but I'll let it slide). The $10 tip might be the highlight of my young life and will make any delivery driver instantly treat you like the royalty you are trying to hard to be by throwing all your money around like Preston in "Blank Check."


WE'RE YOU AWARE OF IT?