Recently, I've spent most of my days at home surrounded by luxuries like a Playstation 3, HDTV and iPad. I mostly use all 3 at the same time and since I consult from home 15 hours a week, my life is mostly spent getting blown up by 12 year olds from Japan, staying up way past their bedtime to destroy schlubs like me. It was a recent Friday night that my girlfriend noted I probably needed to go outside of the apartment. She had made plans that I had no interest in and I was content to stay at home watch Fringe on repeat. Win/win?
No. On her way out, she dropped this bomb - "you know, I think you might have FUN if you go out?" Little did she know that my definition of fun for the night consisted of video games and not walking around in freezing weather, getting wasted and gorging myself on chips as I stay up till 4 AM watching Pawn Stars. Sober TV watching is a lot more reputable than drunk TV watching. But when you are love, guilt can run your life. Some friends were having a party on the bad side of town that was a) the bad side of town and b) way too hard to get to, so I called up a friend and we met at a bar.
We had been to this bar for day football games before and it was fine - cheap beers and decent food. On a Friday night, its true self came out and its true self looked like an amalgamation of a Jeremy Lin fan club (too soon?) and a single peoples group. You know, the type of group where overweight 35 year olds who can't meet anybody all get together and try to find true love. The JLFC was very loud, yelling across the bar as other members entered. The singles people group seemed to already be paired off - perhaps these are just sad, overweight couples - and this bar had a BOOT special, which the couples quickly jumped on. I could smell the anticipation of the sloppy sex about to happen in 3 hours. Oh, that's another note. THIS WAS 9 PM.
Things got worse when the bar started blaring old school hip hop and 80's jams. I can't remember any specific song but my friend definitely noted - it's 10pm, this song is a 2 AM song. Perhaps this bar knows its clientele, the singalong to the 2am song ensued at 10, just like it was 2 am. The sadness loomed over us. After two beers and one shot, we went our separate ways, but my excitement did not end. I was already on the street I live on - about 4 miles down. The cab ride could not be easier - drive straight - yet the cab driver, who was a 20 something AMERICAN with the rare combination of coke problem/obesity got confused went 3 blocks south in the wrong direction then 4 blocks east in the wrong direction. Eventually he just turned the meter off and muttered how sorry he was. I wondered if I was just carrying the sadness stench with me.
1 comment:
Yikes. Your gf sounds like a ho-bag.
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