Here we have a nice little breakdown of my TV night - filled with Oscar safety and All Star Game excitement. Which came out on top Le Sport or Les Pop Culture?
Did I Want to Kill Myself?
Oscars: Partially. If you consider everything, this was a very watchable Oscar night. It was nearly 2 hours in before I looked at the clock to see when I could continue on with more relevant things in my life. This is quite an accomplishment. They played it safe, which is good for those folks who think talkie pictures are just a fad.
All Star Game: Absolutely not. I flipped back and forth between both of these events, seemingly not missing anything important in either event. Perhaps this heightened my love of the NBA All Star Game, but let's be real - when LeBron James starts the second half 9/9 and brings his team back from 17 points down before failing to win, that's exciting.
Winner: All Star Game.
Who Had More Celebrities?
Oscars: I believe the Oscars win in terms of white celebrity - does it get bigger than Jonah Hill for the stoners, Brad Pitt for the 20 something females, George Clooney for everyone and Meryl Streep for every other woman? Probably not.
ASG: The NBA lured in celebrities fit for a more "urban" generation (I think that's the PC way to say it these days). Lil Wayne was there, presumably robotrippin', as was every other major rapper (50 Cent, Nicki "I'm gonna eye rape you" Minaj, Drake), and of course a smattering of others like Mary J. Blige, Floyd Mayweather - in his best Cosby sweater no less, and Spike Lee, who makes movies right? Shouldn't he be at the Oscars? Oh that's right, he doesn't have enough white people to hate in public right now.
Winner: Oscars.
Who has more surprises?
Oscars: The Oscars somehow made the Grammy's winners (Adele, and only Adel) seem surprising. The Artist basically won everything that wasn't technical, Hugo won everything that was technical and Meryl Streep won for best actress. I think we can safely guess no old people died this year from shock induced heart attacks.
ASG: The All Star game, while exciting, was filled with lackluster defense, LeBron James shining and then failing, and Kobe whining. These are things that can be expected from most regular season games and definitely every ASG.
Winner: Push.
Best dressed?
Oscars: I did not get to see the red carpet special, but I did get to see Angelina Jolie stick her leg out of her dress like she was trying to lure in an unsuspecting car, weird the awestruck male driver in and then eventually kill him - most likely in the midst of a sex act. Jonah Hill also stuck out - with his brownish purple bowtie and dress shirt. Yikes.
ASG: Meanwhile, the ASG was not much better. Mayweather wore his Cosby sweater, Chris Brown wore his brass knuckles, and the All Star Game uniforms weren't as hideous as past years. (Derrick Rose in that skin tight jersey, I'm looking at you.)
Winner: All Star Game.
Grand Winner: All Star Game. 2-1-1.
The 4th quarter of the All Star Game was more exciting than all 3 hours of the Oscars. There was actual suspense, instead of tepid aggravation as we had to wait to hear The Artist win everything. Bold prediction: Next year their will only be 2-3 talkie pictures nominated for Best Picture. Talkies are out, Chaplin's in.
No comments:
Post a Comment