Welcome to the exciting middle part of my Texas Trilogy (everyone knows the middle movie is always the best in a trilogy...except in Star Wars, The Matrix and The Bourne series....) but please keep reading anyway, I promise I'll only let you down a little bit (and it will be gentle).
Friday
9:00 AM - I woke up extremely early (6 AM) and in between the waking hours of 6 and 9 I was able to accomplish many a task for work and returned to my hotel room to drop something off. What was waiting for me was a horrifying experience that would make any man rip out his spleen and then his eyeballs (the spleen - so that you die quickly and it needs to be before the eyes so that you can see what you are doing. Don't pretend that you haven't studied up on self-surgery). As I entered my room (shared with my co-workers) my co-worker quickly snaps his head upwards, in a startled fashion. I am just as a startled because I realize he is shirtless. The man was a veritable substitute for big foot. Needless to say I quickly exited the room and giggled on my way down the elevator (while secretly hoping Isaac Hanson would hop on and share my anecdote with me. We would both have a hearty laugh and an embrace).
1:15 PM - The rest of the morning was spent doing work and nothing of interest happened until I returned BACK to my hotel. As I entered through the back entrance I see HIM. THEM. ITS THE MOTHER FUCKING HANSONS. Live in color. I've probably never been closer to a celebrity this famous (retroactively of course) and I have to say it made me sad (not retroactively) for them. They looked the same as the most recent time I had seen them (on Cribs or the Mormon Today Show - airs at 4 am CST on CWTV (check your local listings)) and they were doing an interview for what I can only assume is the 10th anniversary of MMMbop.
Do you think they still play that live? Do you think they have played it over a million times by now? I would almost guarantee yes. As soon as we got to our room door, we looked down into the lobby and saw them disperse (presumably to go make more Mormon babies - look it up between the 3 of them, they have 10 kids. They are also 21, 23 and 24. That's a lot of baby making.) As I turned to enter the room my co-worker was already racing out of the room to try and get there autograph. She made it down just before they were about to plant their seed in the nearest fertile woman and was able to get their autograph (she also claimed they were all nice). Did she get their autograph on anything fancy, you ask? OF COURSE, a yellow legal pad. What for the ebay bid coming soon.
1 AM - I worked for the next 12 hours running an event for a client. Working and walking all day had left me severely chaffed (in the genital region, don't be grossed out, it's just my fat thighs telling me they are sore). Walking will be an issue for the rest of the weekend (yes I must do a lot of walking. I return to the hotel room by 4 am. Excited for the burning sensation in my thighs (this is what crabs must feel like) and the fact that I will be waking up in 2 hours. I love you Texas, you and your 93 degree heat in March.
Day 3 will come tomorrow!
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